You graduate high school at 18ish, and then enroll at university. From 18-23, you are consumed with school, drinking and going out. From 23-25 you are probably doing intern work, or grad school, so by the time you are 27 you have an establish career. 3 years later you are 30, and are excelling in your career, power hungry, and motivated to make it to the top. At 35 you are making huge strides and you look around and think: What is next?
This generation is marrying later, in fact, half of them are even thinking of marriage. It is the modern thing, not to get married. Jane Austen would roll over in her grave. But what can you say? Times have changed. But in some sort of small reality we find ourselves looking around us thinking it would be nice to have someone else. Somewhere, in our early lives I think we discover what kind of men we are.
First is the George Clooney guy, the super attractive, always going to be a bachelor until the last second to marry. There is nothing wrong with this lifestyle choice, in fact it might be beneficial to some sort. There is something appealing about not being tied down, not having any obligations except your work. There is also the Jane Austen type of guy, the guy that is a hopeless romantic and always looking for love. Hoping that marriage will define him, and kids would fulfill everything. Nothing wrong with that either. We then have the confused guy, which is the majority of people in general, straight or gay. They are the people who take one day at a time, trying to figure out what works for them and not work for them. I think I was lucky to know exactly who I wanted to be at an early age. I remember at 11 I looked my high school guidance councilor in the face and said, “You didn’t even go to a good school. A small liberal arts school isn’t going to cut it for me.”
Yeah, I was kind of a dick, but a determined one. Then at fifteen, I found myself graduating high school and starting to embark on my mission to become a professional ballet dancer; which happened as well. There is nothing wrong with being determined, and there is nothing wrong with taking your time to find out who you are.
I think the bigger question we have to ask ourselves is: What was it all for?
As cliche as this post, it makes you wonder what it was all for. For some it was the thrill of the chase, the hunt for greatness. For others it was success and stability, something they might not of had growing up. And for some, myself included, it was for the beautiful things in life. There is nothing more special that putting on a Dolce and Gabbana suit, or serving your dinner guests with Vera Wang. There is a sense of luxury, a sense of accomplishment, and a sense of building a lifestyle.
So at my age, what have I learned? Life is beautiful, glorious, and full of surprises. That the simplest of things can amount into the greatest of happiness. That after a failed marriage, and a failed engagement, that I still want to be married and still aspire to be a good husband, a good father and a great friend. I have learned that no matter how many dates you go on, if there isn’t that spark, it will never come. I have learned that men will always come and go, and that somewhere around 25 you become less selfish. That even at my age, you can wake up one day and realize that you want a different career, that it is never too late to start over. It all goes back to this small idea that you strive for the best, and humbly take success, and hope that someone will find you and you will be everything to them.
The other day I was at the most wonderful dinner party. Bacon wrapped eggplant and braised cucumbers, clean lighting, and modern lines. As I was sitting there, laughing, drinking a little too much wine, and having the time of life, I realized how lucky I am to have the life that I have. Then, on another night of the week friends came over and we over ate on sushi and sewed the most beautiful dress together for San Francisco’s Fashion Night. And then on a night like this, I find myself having coffee with a girlfriend.
Hopefully one day, I will be able to share that with someone, but at the end of the day,
IF YOU COULD CREATE A TV SHOW,
Checking your phone when someone pulls out their phone is the yawn of this generation. A good friend posted this on Facebook recently, and I realized how true it was. Even when on a date these days, it is common to check your phone. Among friends, sitting at lunch we are all on our phones: texting, snap chatting, on Grindr, Facebook, Instagram... the list goes on. Balancing real life, and the digital life is always a challenge, but doable. Recently, in the Post I read that more than 60% of people use their phones when taking a poop. It has become the all American pastime: social media. Dating is difficult and cell phones have made dating even more difficult. With the ability to mobile cyber stalk, texting at rapid speeds, and social media updates, how can someone actually take a break from technology and just enjoy real life?
TEXTING: When among friends, it is okay to text, or be on your phone until you order your food. If taking a call, it is always best to step away from the table, always step away when it is business. Never text on a date. In fact, don’t even check your phone on a date, you will look uninterested, and it is a huge turn off. When texting a coworker or colleague never use abbreviations.
ON THE PHONE: Never talk on a cell phone in public about your personal or professional problems, finances or health issues. Because cell phones aren’t always the most reliable if you are disconnected, make sure you call them back right away, if possible. If you are on the phone in public, try to keep your voice slightly lower than the room.
Tips to reconnect
Whether it is for Grindr, Snapchat, Instagram or Facebook, it seems that the entire world is obsessed with selfies. Unfortunately or fortunately, it seems that gay men are obsessed with taking them, more than straight men in my opinion (this is purely based on browsing around IG). So, is it a turn on or a turn off, when you see a guy's IG full of selfies? Are they that selfish or vain? Do they think that highly of themselves? Do they think they are a model? Not criticizing either way, just an observation.
tips for taking a selfie...
1. Make sure you have a clean mirror. It is gross to see dirty mirrors.
2. Make sure your dirty laundry isn't all over your room, and your bed is made.
3. Lighting is everything, and some of these selfies are crazy dark, or crazy yellow, so yellow that an IG filter will not save it.
4. Don't have the camera covering up half your face.
5. Most smart phones now have front cameras with a decent amount of pixels,
so you technically don't need your phone to be seen in the picture.
6. If you are going to be shirtless in a selfie, make sure you properly groomed.
7. If you are going to be publicly posting a selfie, don't be defensive if someone says that picture is crap.
They aren't criticizing you, they are criticizing the image.
So, I decided to write about professions, well gay professions. Okay, not really, but I feel like there are five professions that people automatically assume that you are gay. In my own personal experience, in the most random of ways, I have worked in or alongside these professions. Originally I was going to title this post, the 5 gayest professions ever, until I realized that a lot of straight men work in these professions. So, here are my Gayest no so gay jobs.
"I'm a ballet dancer." Or just dancers in general. When we hear that, we think, "Oh god, he is poor. Or wow, that's gay; prancing around." As there are many gay ballet dancers, there are just as many straight ballet dancers. In fact, the majority of male ballet dancers I have met are straight. I mean you kind of have to be in order to play Prince Charming. As athletic as dance is the artistic view of a ballerina is thrust onto most male dancers. Note that half of the principal dancers of New York City Ballet are married to each other.
They get a really bad wrap for being jegging wearing, make up wearing, lip gloss smacking homos: THE HAIR STYLIST. For as many gay men do hair, so do straight men. In fact, most of the leading hair stylists in the world are straight men. They have this very cool, tatted up, classy, fashionable hipster vibe. Super sexy.
When we hear a man says he works in fashion we think, purse carrying, stiletto stomping, Olsen sisters big sunglasses, and a Starbucks. Those are just the ones who work at Forever 21, just kidding. As effeminate as fashionistos can be, there are tons of straight men in fashion: top designers, stylists, and writers, all straight men. We just like to picture everyone that works in fashion as flaming homos.
Interior designers and architects seem to always get wrapped up into the same category. Neither one is specifically gay, but because of HGTV and other DIY networks, it seems that the representation of this profession is gay.
Okay, so the final one is being a model. And unfortunately, I feel like gays might have tainted this profession. As male models are ridiculously good looking, or some might say, "They are to hot to be straight." Unfortunately, it seems that every gay boy is a "model" even if they are 5'3", because someone took a photo of them in their underwear, they are a model.