You graduate high school at 18ish, and then enroll at university. From 18-23, you are consumed with school, drinking and going out. From 23-25 you are probably doing intern work, or grad school, so by the time you are 27 you have an establish career. 3 years later you are 30, and are excelling in your career, power hungry, and motivated to make it to the top. At 35 you are making huge strides and you look around and think: What is next?
This generation is marrying later, in fact, half of them are even thinking of marriage. It is the modern thing, not to get married. Jane Austen would roll over in her grave. But what can you say? Times have changed. But in some sort of small reality we find ourselves looking around us thinking it would be nice to have someone else. Somewhere, in our early lives I think we discover what kind of men we are.
First is the George Clooney guy, the super attractive, always going to be a bachelor until the last second to marry. There is nothing wrong with this lifestyle choice, in fact it might be beneficial to some sort. There is something appealing about not being tied down, not having any obligations except your work. There is also the Jane Austen type of guy, the guy that is a hopeless romantic and always looking for love. Hoping that marriage will define him, and kids would fulfill everything. Nothing wrong with that either. We then have the confused guy, which is the majority of people in general, straight or gay. They are the people who take one day at a time, trying to figure out what works for them and not work for them. I think I was lucky to know exactly who I wanted to be at an early age. I remember at 11 I looked my high school guidance councilor in the face and said, “You didn’t even go to a good school. A small liberal arts school isn’t going to cut it for me.”
Yeah, I was kind of a dick, but a determined one. Then at fifteen, I found myself graduating high school and starting to embark on my mission to become a professional ballet dancer; which happened as well. There is nothing wrong with being determined, and there is nothing wrong with taking your time to find out who you are.
I think the bigger question we have to ask ourselves is: What was it all for?
As cliche as this post, it makes you wonder what it was all for. For some it was the thrill of the chase, the hunt for greatness. For others it was success and stability, something they might not of had growing up. And for some, myself included, it was for the beautiful things in life. There is nothing more special that putting on a Dolce and Gabbana suit, or serving your dinner guests with Vera Wang. There is a sense of luxury, a sense of accomplishment, and a sense of building a lifestyle.
So at my age, what have I learned? Life is beautiful, glorious, and full of surprises. That the simplest of things can amount into the greatest of happiness. That after a failed marriage, and a failed engagement, that I still want to be married and still aspire to be a good husband, a good father and a great friend. I have learned that no matter how many dates you go on, if there isn’t that spark, it will never come. I have learned that men will always come and go, and that somewhere around 25 you become less selfish. That even at my age, you can wake up one day and realize that you want a different career, that it is never too late to start over. It all goes back to this small idea that you strive for the best, and humbly take success, and hope that someone will find you and you will be everything to them.
The other day I was at the most wonderful dinner party. Bacon wrapped eggplant and braised cucumbers, clean lighting, and modern lines. As I was sitting there, laughing, drinking a little too much wine, and having the time of life, I realized how lucky I am to have the life that I have. Then, on another night of the week friends came over and we over ate on sushi and sewed the most beautiful dress together for San Francisco’s Fashion Night. And then on a night like this, I find myself having coffee with a girlfriend.
Hopefully one day, I will be able to share that with someone, but at the end of the day,