In the world of dating, we all feel like we are the living, breathing, gay version of Carrie Bradshaw. And for some, that just might be true. But when it comes to dating, planning a date can be quite difficult, and the pressure on a first date can get intense. So you meet a guy off Grindr, have exchanged numbers, and after texting, sexting and swapping pics it is time for the first date.
There are endless options when it comes to planning the first date, so we have kind of broken them up into some categories to help you decide.
The Classic:The classics are your essential basics, like dinner and movie. The pros to this is the amount of time you get to spend together, then again that could be a con depending. Always go to dinner first so you can actually talk, and then decide on a movie together. This is the chance to pull that awesome first move, depending on how suave you are. Classic dates also usually revolve around events: art gallery openings, wine tastings, museum exhibits. Everything that you would think a first date should be…
The Casual First Date: The casual first date is always nice because there is no pressure, and there really is no specific attire. Most of us default to coffee or drinks. The pro to this is it can last hours, and it really is just getting to know a person. This could also be getting a coffee and walking around a bookstore, or something of the sorts. For those of us in Southern California this could be walking the piers, hanging out at the beach or even walking around Downtown.
The Fun First Date: For those of you who are active, and outdoorsy the fun first date is like the active first date. This goes from hiking to rock climbing, Disneyland, or other theme parks. If you are going to plan an outdoors date, be sure to inform the other person… I went on a date and he took me hiking… I was wearing Prada ankle boots. #fail
The Romantic First Date: For those of you who really want to make a good impression, this is the best kind of date. If you are going to go the whole nine yards, with the flowers and the candles and all that jazz… well it is definitely a way to make the mood happen. The romantic date could also mean just subtle little gestures, like holding someone’s hand, listening to good music, or cooking for them.
In the never ending search to find Mr. Right, we have modernized our dating pool with social media. There literally is an app for everything. So, how do you decide which app is right for you? From Adam4Adam's Radar App, to the ever popular Gindr, we are faced with a million options. Guyspy is for the download, and Scruff is well, for the obvious, scruffy. But with all of these apps, has anyone found love?
Let us know.
Summer is coming to an end, and the weather is starting to cool down. Kind of. Summer romances are dwindling down, and the thoughts of a serious boyfriend might come to mind. No one wants to be single around the holidays, right? Maybe, if you are needy. Then there are those who are just looking for cuddle buddies, snuggle friends, FWBs, whatever you want to call them. Unfortunately, finding someone to cuddle with is a lot harder than you think. And then when you find a potential somebody, they suck at cuddling. Here is our guide to cuddling.
Big Spoon & Little Spoon:
Being a big spoon is much harder than being the little spoon. Most little spoons are super needy, no offense. Being a little spoon and craving cuddling usually means you need to feel protected, secure, and validated. Being a big spoon and craving cuddling usually means you want to comfort someone, feel needed, and wanted. Being a big or little spoon really doesn’t designate if you are a top or bottom, but it helps if whoever is the big spoon is taller.
The nook is the place between your arm and chest, so basically the armpit area. But, it is a great place to cuddle. Unfortunately, if you are the nook it is less comfortable for you. If you are in the nook, then you are definitely satisfied. The great part about the nook is it is great position for cuddling and conversation. Unlike spooning, the nook allows eye contact.
So, after a few coffee dates, dinner dates, and movie dates I found myself really into a guy. After what seemed like millions of texts, I decided to tell him how I feel, only for him to completely shut down. And, instead of dropping it and moving on, I decided to cling onto the fact that there was a brief history, delusional if you ask me. But here it is, like the movie says: YOU ARE ALWAYS THE RULE, never the exception. These magical rules, of the guy you have been dating for six years isn't going to propose anytime soon. Or, if you are the mistress, the husband isn't going to leave you and you aren't going to start this magical life together. And finally, if a guy doesn't text you back, or call you, he really isn't that interested. It is proven.
My Beautiful and Wonderful Boyfriend,
Today when I woke up next to you, I realized that you are one of the greatest things that have ever happened to me. You aren’t just one of the greatest people, but one of the greatest experiences. Everyday with you I change for the better, and I see myself, and the world in a whole new way. I want to thank you for that. More importantly, this morning when I saw you drooling in your sleep, I thought to myself: I am so madly in love with him. There are a million reasons why I love you, but I want to tell you how I fell in love with you:
Remember when I took you out to Starbucks, it was like our second date. When you ordered your coffee, the sophistication was sexy. The way you cleaned the table before sitting down was adorable. When you offered to get me cream and sugars, and said, “I hope you don’t use splenda” made me laugh. And when you criticized your cappuccino’s foam, it made me laugh even more. Then, when we were talking about our families and upbringings, when you told me that when you were younger you got kicked out of soccer for biting someone, you had me. Finally, when we were done with coffee and I took your hand to walk out, and you didn’t flinch or pull away, and then laid your head on my shoulder, I knew I could spend the rest of my life with you.
Two years later, every day, you make me fall in love with you all over again.
There are those who are married, and those who are single. It seems pretty simple, but then there are those who are engaged, and those who are about to be engaged. In relationships, there is a moment that builds to this epic point in time, and you just know. Some say that they were totally surprised, but how can someone be surprised that they are about to spend the rest of their life with someone? Wouldn’t you know, or at least have the feelings that clearly read as: I am going to marry this man?
Those who are about to get engaged usually go through the process of dating, and talk about things like living together and a home, kids, careers, etc. They probably have already met each other’s families. And for some, they have at least looked at rings together or at least talked about it. The moments leading up to an engagement are intense, and then there is this most wonderful moment where everything seems clear, and when you look at that man, you just know that you are going to spend the rest of your life with this person.
Finally, when you do get engaged, nowadays, you hop on Facebook or send a group text message. I mean it is still classy to send out engagement announcements/photos (PHOTO SHOOT TIME!! no more selfies), but the stress of planning a wedding starts to set in. We think that you should take your time, and enjoy simply being engaged. There never really seems time to in between married or single, for tax purposes or otherwise. And, since gay marriage is a newly accepted thing, enjoy it even more. We get that there is a rush, just in case someone tries to appeal it, or that you have been waiting years to marry the man you love, but seriously- if you are going to be spending the rest of your life with someone, why rush it?
Engagement parties are the best. People seem to have forgotten about them, but they are such amazing parties and dinners that you get to share with your friends. It isn’t about getting drunk, or getting gifts, it is being around the people you love, being able to celebrate this moment that you and the love of your life are going to be tying the knot, starting to merge two families together, and maybe starting a family of your own. Enjoy being engaged, don’t rush it.
TELL US YOUR ENGAGEMENT STORY!
Lesson learned? When casually dating, or when you first start seeing someone, hanging out with them, or getting to know them, DON’T think about it. Sometimes, by not thinking, life surprises us with great new friends, passionate love affairs, and maybe you will get lucky and find the love of your life.