According to Webster, a close familiarity or friendship; closeness. According to some gays, intimacy is having sex with anyone and you know their first AND last name. And other gays define intimacy as this crazy idea that emotional dependency is necessary to be a better couple. And for some, intimacy is close personal connection that involves opening up and the sharing of details. There is this line that I despise, “He can’t just be intimate with me.” This line is horrible, the men who say this line, half of them are wrong.
Being intimate doesn’t mean having sex, so for those who are using that line when the guy you are dating isn’t giving you any, stop. Don’t rush into things, or stop being thirsty, either way, just stop.
Other times I hear that word when a friend just starts dating a guy and his monologue over martinis usually sounds like this, “He just isn’t intimate with me. He doesn’t want to open up or connect. I just feel the world for him and want to tell him everything when cuddling, and I tell him these long stories of my childhood, and he doesn’t reciprocate. Why isn’t he intimate with me?” Blah blah blah, I hear it all the time. Have you ever considered that being in bed, cuddling is intimate enough? That you might be talking so much, he doesn’t have a chance to get a word in? Guys open up at different rates, and have you ever thought that he is just waiting for that right moment?
Finally, in a recent conversation, intimacy was defined as, “He doesn’t text me often, why isn’t he into me?” My sarcastic response, “How long have you known him?” “Two weeks, but we have been intimate in bed. I just want him to open up so I can get to know him.” Then as I stare at my coffee, thinking to myself: How needy can you be? You barely know him, and you want him to text you all day, while he is at work, for someone who put out a couple of times. Instead of spewing that hateful truth out, “Well, maybe he is just busy at work?” “I just feel that if someone is going to sleep with you, they should at least text you.”
HAH. If every man I slept with constantly texted me, well frankly, I would just stop having sex. Sometimes, sex is just sex, not intimacy, not the start of a relationship, sometimes it is just that. So this interpreting of sex as intimacy, or texting as intimacy, well it should just frankly stop. Intimacy is just intimacy, it is technically a noun, so it is a thing, not an action. So, this thing, this feeling, should be natural and not forced.